Prenuptial agreements are often something that a newly-engaged couple would rather not think about. After all, it's nothing like picking out flowers
The truth of the matter is that as soon as you start deciding on things like where and when to marry, you should also be considering whether or not you want a prenup. It most cases, a prenup is a good idea, and not just because the divorce rate is at 50% in America, but because it can create a stronger relationship. Really. While it sounds a bit rough, remember that it's better to sit down with your spouse-to-be early on to discuss financial matters instead of waiting until after the fact. This is not because you should expect to divorce, but because it not only affects you both, but also your children and grandchildren. It also saves you both hassle, frustration, and money in the case that something goes awry in your marriage.
Read on for details about prenups, but don't forget that you might also want to get a book on prenuptials
A prenuptial agreement is a binding legal document agreed upon by the bride and groom prior to the wedding that determines what legal ramifications will ensue in the case of divorce, separation, or death of one of the partners. It is a way of clearly defining which possessions, property, assets, retirement funds, college funds, family heirlooms, and inheritances are separate, and which are owned jointly. This makes things simpler in the case of divorce by eliminating the need for costly legal battles later on. It also sets the record straight so that there can't be an unfair divorce court ruling.
To give you an idea of what a prenuptial does, here are some of the details that might be included in the agreement:
Prenups aren't for everyone, however, they aren't as big, bad, and scary as they sound. What was once thought of as a legal process only for the rich and famous is becoming more commonplace, though not nearly as much as it should be with the divorce rate as high as it is. People who should consider getting a prenup:
You might be thinking that a prenup is right for you, but take into account that there are other ways to keep your property, possessions, and family safe. Trusts, custodial accounts, and wills play an important part in defining whose is what and these documents should be revised or created in the case that you are considering a prenup. Keep in mind that a will cannot supersede a prenup, should both exist. The only time it can is if it offers to give more to the spouse than originally stated in the prenup. It can't take rights away from the spouse that were stated in the prenup.
Often all a person's needs can be fulfilled by these types of documents. Also, remember that anything you own prior to the wedding is still considered your property. Inheritances you received prior to the marriage are safeguarded and anything in a bank account in your name. After the marriage, open a new account for your life as a married person to avoid commingling accounts.
Start early. Talk about it openly and share your feelings with each other on the subject. If you can't trust each other to talk about a prenup honestly then how comfortable are you with each other? Remember that marriage involves emotional commitments, but also financial ones and you need to be able to tend to both to make the marriage a successful one.
After an initial broaching of the topic, then you can actually go into details. This should be done before consulting any outside parties, such as lawyers or financial advisers. Come to an agreement with your fiancé about what will be included in the prenup, an estimate of your assets that you want to safeguard, and a broad idea of what you want to prenup to do. The point is to come to as many conclusions as you can before you talk to a lawyer since lawyers cost big bucks -- as much as $500 an hour in metropolitan areas. Make sure to be as comprehensive and as honest as possible. If you leave something out and it turns out that you do get divorced, the prenup can actually become invalid when taken before the courts.
Once you are ready to move forward with the agreement, go and find yourselves legal representation -- matrimonial lawyers . One lawyer for each person. Otherwise, it doesn't work. Draw up the contracts (this may take several drafts) and get them signed. This should take place well before the wedding. That way you won't be stressed around the period right before you marry, which can be stressful, and there will be no possibility that the contract will be nullified because it appears to be coerce. Coercion is a major reason why prenuptials are found to be invalid when it really counts.
Finally, before signing, make sure that the agreement is fair. Remember that there is such as thing as equitable distribution. If the prenup will leave one spouse with everything and the other with nothing, the state may rule the prenuptial agreement to be unlawful.
You can't necessarily eliminate a prenup, but you can adjust it down the road if both you and your spouse agree to the terms. Another thing to be aware of is that if you are worried that the prenuptial agreement is going to promote a divorce and you'd really rather not have one, consider a "sunset clause". This states that after a certain period of time the prenuptial will become invalid, say ten years down the road. However, be very careful about choosing this option. Divorces don't always occur within the first few years of marriage. Some happen far down the road, perhaps in the 11th, 12th, or 15th year or later.