Engagement Ring Buying Guide
Could anything be a more subjective, sensitive, and nosiness-provoking topic than engagement rings? 
Put one nervous adult in front of a jeweler, tell him (or her) to drop thousands of dollars on an object smaller than a quarter, and heap on decades of pressure to make the perfect decision. Meanwhile, the bride-to-be may have been dreaming about her ring for years or she may not care. When the question is popped, even strangers are going to want to see "the rock", regardless of whether the happy couple thinks it's a symbol of anything more than tightly packed carbon.
People may judge your ring for its objective quality, its aesthetic value, or based on their personal need to look down on others. Try not to let it get you down. The only ones an engagement ring really has to please are the two people in the engaged union. That being said, only one of you is actually wearing the ring; it behooves you to make sure she loves it!
ShopWiki is here to enlighten you and point you towards future wisdom and marital bliss. Have no fear.
The Store
Not everyone can (or wants to) go to Tiffany's to buy an engagement ring. It is best to ask any married couples you know in your area for good jewelry store recommendations. Feel free to shop around, but no matter what make sure the jewelry store is a member of the American Gem Corporation (AGC)! If they are not, there is a good chance that your ring has the monetary worth of plastic rings out of a gumball machine at Piggly Wiggly.
The Price
Most traditionalists claim that an engagement ring should cost roughly two months salary. In reality, however, most women would rather have the exact ring they want at just one months salary than a ring that is mediocre at two months salary. Don't freak out if the best ring in your price range is less than two months salary. Most people do not take the two months salary tradition too seriously these days. And, when you think about it, wouldn't some of that money be great as a down payment on a house instead?
Believe it or not, the best deal you are going to get on your ring is by bargaining. Jewelry stores, despite their elegant, sometimes even pretentious, demeanor, are little more than a New York City street fair when it comes to negotiating. Never pay sticker price. Sticker prices are usually about double what they should be. Compare prices of similar rings at other jewelry stores and challenge them to beat the competition's price.
The Stone
- If you're going traditional, the diamond is the most important part of her ring. Generally, what you should examine is the stone's cut, color, clarity and carat. Read our Diamond Buying Guide for more details before buying a ring.
- Most couples today opt for the now-conventional diamond ring, popularized by de Beers in the 1940s.
- There are lots of other choices -- colorful gemstones, such as rubies, sapphires, and emeralds, are becoming more popular.
- Princess Diana's engagement ring from Prince Charles was a blue sapphire ring.
- Emeralds are actually the most expensive stone by weight.
- Alternatives to diamonds are also seen as a way around the controversy concerning diamond mining practices.
- Opals and pearls are usually avoided because they are softer stones and can scratch relatively easily.
- Diamonds are a 10 (the highest value) on the Mohs hardness scale; rubies and sapphires are a 9, emeralds are 8, while opals are around 6.
Metal
There are only a few metals widely available for jewelry :
- Silver is inexpensive but tarnishes easily. Not recommended for an engagement ring unless you really can't afford anything else.
- Gold is always a good choice. Look at her wardrobe and the colors she wears often to decide if you want to go with a traditional yellow gold or a more modern white gold band. (Gold also comes in a rose gold engagement ring color, but engagement rings made from this are rare.)
- If you want to spend a bit more and get a white-hued ring, platinum is another choice and has become very popular in recent years.
- Palladium is available now as another white gold alternative.
Design and Setting
There's no right or wrong when it comes to choosing the setting and stone design. Just watch out for a poor setting, as it can snag on a sweater or come loose.
Don't forget that our Diamond Buying Guide has pictures of all your diamond shape options. Many ladies have personal preferences for their shape of stone, but many don't. If you can get a sense before hand, you'll both be much happier. This kind of investigating will either take a concrete discussion or lots of not-so-subtle prying. But if you're getting married, you're going to have to have important discussions sooner or later, so you might as well practice now. Besides, this is a much more fun conversation than deciding to buy a house!
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Solitaire A solitaire ring is a ring with a single stone set to best display the stone. Popularized by Tiffany & Co., this is considered the "standard" engagement ring. Simple and classic, it highlights the beauty of the individual diamond. |
Three-Stone A three stone ring has three stones, traditionally a large middle stone with two smaller ones of complementary shapes on the side. On some rings, these stones are all the same size. Some rings have different stones framing a diamond, or diamonds framing other stones -- sapphires are especially popular. |
Fancy Shapes Some rings have multiple stones or bands set with stones. Pavé means that a number of small stones have been set close together with little or no metal showing. Channel-set means that the stones are fitted into a groove in the ring, sometimes close together. |
The Size
Jokes aside, size matters to a lady. While the stone's size is up to your judgment, taste, and budget, the ring has to fit her finger, or the ring is no good. In other words, make sure you know her ring size. If you're not going to take her shopping with you, you might have to be a little sneaky about figuring this out.
- Ask her friends if they know her ring size. (But then your cover may be blown.)
- Cutely measure her finger with a tape measure. Maybe get down on one knee to do it?
- Snag a different ring of hers -- one she wears comfortably on her ring finger, preferably -- and either measure it, take it with you to the jeweler, or at least figure out how it fits on you. This way you can show up at the store and say, "Well, I don't know her size, but her favorite ring is just small enough to not get over this knuckle, but it comfortably goes over this one."
- Take her ring-shopping with you, if you want to maximize her happiness with the ring. This will minimize her surprise, but it might be worth it!
The Matched Set
Don't Forget
Whether you're buying online or in a store, get a certificate and a return policy for the ring. You never know if it will have to be resized, returned, or exchanged and you're going to want some claims of its quality for insurance purposes.
Related Articles
External Links
These are just a few of the terms you will encounter when searching for an engagement ring. There are thousands of rings on the market, so how do you choose? The good news is that you are not alone. There are dozens of websites that can help you choose the perfect ring for your sweetheart. Check out these sites for help with buying a ring:
