Choosing an Officiant

When you picture the perfect wedding ceremony, what do you see? A lovely sun setting behind you as you stand under a gazebo  or chuppah  adorned with flowers  in a casual setting suitable for your casual style? Or does the traditional unity candle  ceremony or kiddushin take precedence? No matter what your wedding gown  or tuxedo  looks like, or how you decorate,  choosing an officiant will make a significant difference in your ceremony.

There are two main directions that you can take when it comes to choosing an officiant -- civil or religious. Frequently, this is a clear choice for many people, since usually you're either religious or you're not. Those with no religious affiliations typically choose a civil wedding, as well as those marrying for a second time, or those having an interfaith marriage. Christian, Jewish, or Muslim couples will likely want and require a religious ceremony, except in the case of an interfaith marriage in which the two extremes make a religious ceremony too difficult. Other reasons for choosing a civil ceremony over a religious one are that it can cost quite a bit less and often the rules and regulations are a bit more lax. Ever heard of a Roman Catholic priest skydiving  or scuba diving  while wedding a couple? Highly unlikely, but some non-denominational officiants may travel to far ends to make a couple happy. Some civil officiants may also carry out such adventurous and unique requests. Whichever ceremony you envision, be it in the air, under water, on a beach, or at your home, you need to find the officiant that will carry out those requests.

Once you have a clear idea of what type of a ceremony you want, the next step is finding the person to be your officiant. For civil marriages, you may find a judge, notary, or a county clerk to carry out the ceremony. For a religious marriage, a minister, priest, rabbi, or imam performs the ceremony. Above all, it cannot be stressed enough that your officiant needs to be someone who you feel very comfortable with, someone you trust, and someone who you feel cares about your wedding as much as you do. To be sure that you are choosing the right one, here are the most important things you should ask potential officiants, both civil and religious.

Questions to Ask the Officiant
Civil Time & Place Is the officiant available for the date of the wedding? Is the officiant available for the rehearsal? Does the officiant provide a location, and if so, where is it? Can the officiant travel to a different location if desired? Costs What are the fees, or is there a donation required? Are there any other fees not included with the basic service? The Ceremony How many ceremonies has the officiant performed? Does the officiant do this full time? If not, what else does he/she do? Does the officiant have prepared readings or vows that you can choose from? May you write your own vows and prepare poems or other readings? Is music allowed? Can you incorporate religious elements into the ceremony? Details What is the procedure for completing the documentation? What will the officiant be wearing? This may be an issue if you are having a very formal or informal wedding. Can you observe a ceremony that will be taking place in a public location to observe the officiant in action? Would the officiant like to attend the reception?	Religious Time & Place Is the officiant available for the date of the wedding? Is the officiant available for the rehearsal? Are there any days that you cannot be wed (holy days, etc.)? Can the wedding take place outside of the house of worship? Costs How much does the officiant charge or does he/she ask for a donation? Are there any other fees not included with the basic service? The Ceremony Can you write your own vows? Will the officiant prepare a sermon and readings or can you partake in the selection process? Will you have a final say? Can you pick and choose the religious elements that you want to be included in the ceremony? Is there a dress code? Are there rules about the kind of music that can be played? Who provides the decorations? Are there any regulations? Are videographers and photographers allowed to shoot inside? Are there restrictions on using a flash or from where they can shoot (such as on the altar)? Are there regulations on what you can throw outside? Details What kind of documents do you need to bring to the meeting and wedding (such as a marriage license certificate)? Can the officiant help keep the peace between families during the event? Would the officiant like to attend the reception? Will the house of worship allow for and support an interfaith marriage? Is there a pre-marital counseling requirement? This is typical of Roman Catholic weddings.

Related Articles

• Writing Your Wedding Vows
• Choosing a Wedding Location
• Choosing a Wedding Date

External Links

• Ultimate Wedding -- A horror story about choosing the wrong officiant.
• Brides.com -- Your best friend can be your officiant?
• Ultimate Weddings -- Civil versus religious ceremonies and the different traditions that you should know about.